How you look
We know that your job plays a huge part in your life. So much so that it has infiltrated the very essence of who you are. You may not be aware of this, but corporate existence has had a profound effect on your wardrobe.
You dress like an office worker from one full moon to the next. Office clothes have snuck into your weekends and evenings. Time out has taken on a distinctly be-suited air, as souvenirs from your desk stalk your every outing. It's absolutely fine for a woman to wear a suit. There are times and places when a suit, be it of skirt or trouser persuasion, is more... well, more suitable.
Sensible shoes in navy or black, too, have their place in the world. Just don't ever let it be at our place if you get invited for a recreational affair.
You see, this is the problem with your dress sense. It seems you find it hard to differentiate between work and play. In the same way as some people bring their job woes into the home and are incapable of switching off, you find it impossible to leave your proverbial briefcase at the office. Your pinstripe jacket will often get taken to the cinema or out for dinner. Likewise your hefty kitchen-sink bag will accompany your one and only black tie outfit.
Your work clothes are fortunate because they have seen more of life than any other garments we know. Let's face it, how many other black polyester-mix, single-breasted skirt suits do you know going to the ballet or pub? How many other 30 denier tights have you come across lucky enough to be sported on a hot summer's day at a picnic in the park?
When you are actually at work you leap feet first into corporate conformity. Not one iota of individuality ruffles your plain, colourless, buttoned-up surface. Are you hoping to be promoted to cardboard cut-out in chief?
The bottom line, baby, is that we see a woman who wears her job on her sleeve - quite literally. Black, navy, grey and white dominate your life right down to your underwear. The styles and shapes hanging in that closet of yours are pitifully limited. What does it contain? A couple of suits, jeans, sweats, trainers and the odd sparkly top that will invariably get swamped by grey flannel and bastardised by a pair of your ghastly square-toed, cubed heel, clumpy shoes.
The combination of a white shirt with a black suit makes you look like you're wearing a uniform. You are not a number, you are a free woman.
Tights this thick might never ladder, but are they doing anything for the shape of your leg?
Ask yourself: 'How long have I had this hairstyle?' It stopped flattering you a long time ago.
Black is a colour that suits only 30% of the population, maybe 50% if they all wear make-up. Unless a black suit is exquisitely cut, there's no faster way to look drab.
The only merit to this shapeless old bag is its practicality. It adds zero to your outfit.
