No tits

There is good flat-chested and bad flat-chested. If you have no tits but are blessed with an immaculate décolletage, like a virgin snow slope on a mountainside, all smooth and unmottled with no lines, you are one of the few flat- chested women who should wear deep V tops.

The rest of us, who don't have unblemished skin and probably suffer from sun damage from our teenage years, cannot. Expensive beauty products won't help either, although they can soften the skin. If you have this kind of skin you really need to ask yourself whether it's attractive enough to be on show or should you cover up and enhance your shape through clever cosmetic moulding?

But that doesn't mean resorting to a bra so padded that one does not even need to come up and take a pinch to see the fraud in your cleavage. There are alternatives.

If you have a pigeon chest (where your breasts generally go in opposite directions leaving a raised crevasse in the centre), you need to fill the underneath section with a chicken fillet to bring them back to the middle.

If you suffer from post-pregnancy deflated balloons, you need the type of support to lift and squeeze what remains into the centre without going so far in that your skin looks shrivelled.

The universally great bra for the flat-chested has to be the Wonderbra. With the ability to increase internal padding with chicken fillets and the ability to control the tightness of the cleavage with its cowboy-string device, this bra will make the best of the flattest of the flats. It is perfect for those moments when a better shape goes the longest way.